Where did dating apps go wrong? Canadian scientists think they know the answer.
Having studied the experience of over 10,000 couples and analyzed more than 40 studies on this sphere, Canadian psychologists came to the conclusion that partners who are in a relationship aren’t important. Spoiler: the relationship itself turned out to be more essential.
It has been found during the study by scientists at Western University that characteristics of the future relationship two people want to build are the most important signs of a good potential. During a few first months of initial acquaintance, mutual satisfaction only depends on about 20% of partners’ psychological traits while almost 45% of the success depends on the coincidence of their ideas about long-term commitment.
The first author of the study, Samantha Joel, thinks that the dynamics of the relationship you are going to build with someone — common interests, jokes that only you two understand, general life experience etc. — have a much greater impact on the mutual happiness than individual characteristics of two people involved.
The survey allowed sorting out all the constituents of a romantic commitment (relying on the information acquired through the questionnaires). All the responses were divided into two categories: personal traits of partners (including but not limited to such parameters as age, income, or empathy) and basic characteristics of their relationships (passion between partners, their sexual satisfaction etc.).
All the aforementioned categories were mixed in all couples, but at the same time, not all of them were equal. The study showed that life satisfaction goes in the first place among individual characteristics. Then (in descending order) go: negative aspect (suffering or confusion), depression or the sense of despair, concern for future relationships, and the ability not to get too involved in them.
The most important characteristics of a relationship are the partners’ desire to build a long-term, permanent relationship; gratitude for a partner; sexual satisfaction, and taking care for the partner’s sexual satisfaction.
According to Samantha Joel, it looks like a truly great relationship is not about finding the perfect partner or trying to change the person you have already found, but building the relationship itself, creating the perfect environment for your relationship to grow and flourish.