10 Things to Avoid After Breaking Up

Go on staying together

This is an obvious mistake, but your brain may disguise it as an excuse, like hanging out with friends. And now you are already having dinner with mutual friends, or together, going to the cinema, meeting at a bar, arranging home gatherings. This only increases your emotional attachment to your ex.

Thinking you are true soulmates

Continuing to believe you are the only person who can understand your ex only feeds the illusion. All the night-time, heart-to-heart conversations are only dragging you deeper into the past. Remember that despite being close, both or one of you have chosen to end the relationship.

Message your ex as often as possible

Don’t message them to find out how they are doing, to tell them that you got a new job, or that you still consider them a friend. This only slows you down.

Pursuing a former partner

We are now talking about literal pursuit, when, by any means necessary, you find out the location of your ex-partner and “accidentally” bump into them in a bar. This is a wake-up call, as it reveals you are close to an addiction.

The same goes for the endless checking of their social networks. Finding out who they’ve added as a friend, seeing what they’ve been doing, and wondering why they write about what they do? You may hope that they are still suffering, but they, most likely, have already got over the breakup or even entered into a new relationship.

Talking bad about your ex-partner

Every time you remember your ex, even if not in the kindest terms, you bring them into your present. The more you talk about them, the more this holds you back.

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Your goal is to be neutral.

Returning something in person

There is no need to look for unnecessary excuses to meet up when you have already decided to separate. Even if you need to return their things and pick up yours, you can always ask your friends to help, or hire a courier. Some of these things can even be thrown away altogether; an old toothbrush isn’t that precious, right?

Switching to a relationship with a friend

A compensatory relationship doesn’t lead to anything good. Right after the breakup you may try to mend your broken heart by striking up an intimate attachment to an old friend. As a result, they will get hurt, and you will be ashamed.

If you suddenly notice how sweet and charming your friend is, slow down, or you will lose them.

Dreaming of an ex-partner

Do you often imagine how your ex suffers or hatches a plan to get you back? And, of course, you never think that right now they may be relaxing with friends and enjoying life. This obsession leads to a long and painful parting process.

Constantly thinking, “what if…”

This is very similar to the previous situation. You are again fixating on your ex-partner and tormenting yourself with illusions. What if you were destined to be together? What if not?

Reveling in grief

It’s really difficult to endure the pain at first. If you are torturing yourself with the thought that the love of your life is gone and will never be replaced, it will be a thousand times harder for you. Meeting someone new with such mindset will be very problematic.

Put yourself and your feelings first. The path to your true “self” is the longest and most difficult one. Without regaining your personal integrity you will not be able to build new harmonious relationships. Start with the small steps, and this will definitely pay off.

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